Heal Your Heartbreak Podcast
Every Tuesday I have a new episode of the Heal Your Heartbreak Podcast where I talk about a different topic as it relates to break ups, healing your heartbreak, growing in your single life, and moving into happier and healthier relationships.
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Heal Your Heartbreak Episodes
#327 Perfectly Hidden Depression: Why High Achievers Struggle in Silence with Dr. Margaret Rutherford
In today’s expert episode, I’m joined by Dr. Margaret Rutherford, clinical psychologist, author, and host of The SelfWork Podcast, to dive deep into the topic of “perfectly hidden depression”—a term she coined and explores in her bestselling book and TEDx talk. We discuss how those who seem “put together” on the outside can silently struggle beneath the surface, why high-achievers and caretakers can be vulnerable to hiding their pain, and how this pattern can show up after heartbreak. Dr. Rutherford shares her personal story, the warning signs of hidden depression, actionable steps for breaking through emotional walls, and how moments of crisis like a breakup can be a catalyst for healing and self-acceptance. If you’ve ever felt like admitting your pain would shatter your carefully-crafted image, this is the episode for you.
#326 How People Pleasing Makes Breakups Harder with Dr. Paula Friedman Diamond
In today’s expert episode, I’m interviewing Dr. Paula Freedman Diamond, a licensed clinical psychologist, speaker, and author of the new book “Toxic Striving: Escaping the Stress and Burnout of Hustle and Diet Culture.” We talk about the many faces of people pleasing and perfectionism, how these patterns show up in dating and relationships, and how suppressing your own needs can eventually lead to relationship breakdowns or unhealthy dynamics. Dr. Paula shares both her personal experiences and practical therapeutic insights on building real intimacy, navigating conflict, and coping with heartbreak when you’ve always tried to be the “perfect” partner. We also discuss controlling the narrative after a breakup, learning to sit with uncomfortable feelings instead of rushing to fix them, and how embracing your needs and authenticity is key to healing from heartbreak. If you struggle with people pleasing, overthinking, or feeling like you have to do it all, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to stay stuck in these cycles.
#325 How to Create a New Blueprint for Love with John Kim
In today’s expert episode, I’m joined by John Kim, a licensed therapist, speaker, and author you might know as The Angry Therapist on Instagram. We dive deep into his brand new book "Love Hard on Purpose" and break down the idea of “love blueprints”—the subconscious definitions of love we’re operating from, often shaped by our upbringing, movies, and social media. We discuss how these definitions can set us up for disappointment in relationships, why it’s normal to start out equating codependency with love, and how to create a healthier definition moving forward after heartbreak. John shares powerful visual metaphors for love, gives advice for those feeling like their relationship was a “failure,” and discusses how to actually rebuild and redefine love after a breakup. If you're navigating heartbreak, coming out of a breakup, or looking to heal and love healthier, you won’t want to miss this episode!
#324 How to Handle Seeing Your Ex for the First Time
In today's solo episode, I'm diving into one of the most nerve-wracking parts of post-breakup life: seeing your ex for the first time. Whether you're anxious about a possible accidental run-in, panicking over a mutual friend's wedding where you know you’ll cross paths, or just stuck in a cycle of "what if I see them?", this episode is for you. I break down the three scenarios—imagined encounters, unexpected meetings, and planned events—and share practical tips for protecting your emotions, setting boundaries, and coping with the emotional spiral that can follow. I also share personal stories from my own breakups to remind you that these feelings are completely normal and don’t say anything about where you are in your healing journey. If you’ve been stressing about how to handle seeing your ex, tune in for actionable advice and lots of reassurance that you’re not alone.
#323 How to Heal Your Self-Worth After Heartbreak with Brooke Taylor
In today’s episode I’m joined by Brooke Taylor, transformational career coach and author of the new book Healing the Success Wound. We dive deep into the concept of the “success wound”—the hidden pain that comes from tying your self-worth to achievement, productivity, and external validation. Brooke shares her personal story of hitting rock bottom while working at Google, dealing with burnout, sobriety, and losing her sense of self after years of chasing external success. We explore how the success wound shows up as anxiety, perfectionism, and even anxious attachment in relationships, and why so many people lose their identity after a breakup. Brooke and I discuss practical ways to rebuild your self-esteem, break free from old patterns, and start truly healing from heartbreak—both in work and in love. If you’ve ever felt lost or worthless after a breakup, or struggled with people pleasing and perfectionism, this episode is a must-listen.
#322 Five Phases of Divorce Grief: Expert Healing Advice from Therapist Oona Metz
In today’s expert episode I’m interviewing Oona Metz, a therapist and author who has spent 17 years specializing in divorce support. We dive into why women initiate nearly 70% of divorces, the persistent shame and stigma around divorce, and the five phases of divorce grief that Oona Metz developed for her book, Unhitched. We also discuss why letting go and mending are essential steps to healing, how to move forward after heartbreak, dealing with co-parenting and changing friendships, and why most women don’t regret their divorce in the long run. Whether you’re considering divorce, in the midst of one, or simply navigating a tough breakup, this episode is packed with practical advice on healing, reducing stigma, and rebuilding your life.
#321 Should You Text Your Ex? Five Questions to Ask Before Reaching Out
In today's solo episode, I'm walking you through a workshop-style reflection meant to help you pause before texting your ex. I share five key questions to ask yourself any time you feel that urge to reach out, whether it's wanting to send an innocent meme or a long, heartfelt message. We explore the deeper motives behind wanting to contact your ex, the likelihood of getting the response you hope for, and how it might impact your healing journey. I also talk about being emotionally prepared for any outcome—especially the possibility of disappointment or no response at all—and encourage you to apply the same advice you'd give a friend. This episode is designed to give you practical tools and a sense of empowerment as you navigate those tough moments post-breakup.
#320 Navigating Early Divorce and Rediscovering Yourself with Sarah Vacchiano
In today’s episode, I’m sitting down with Sarah Vacchiano, author of Soft Launch, who shares her story of getting married young, going through an early divorce, and the journey of starting over in her late 20s. We chat about the shame and guilt that come with leaving a relationship that looks “good on paper,” and how healing isn’t always immediate or linear—sometimes you just need to focus on other parts of your life, as Sarah did with her career. We also dive into the theme of self-compassion in hindsight, the loneliness and steep learning curves of building a new life in a new city, and what it really takes to grow into the person (and partner) you want to be. If you’re facing a major transition or wondering if it’s okay to not have all the answers yet, this conversation is for you.
#319 How Oversharing Can Deepen Relationships with Leslie John
In today’s expert episode, I’m interviewing Leslie John, Harvard Business School professor and author of the new book "Revealing: The Underrated Power of Oversharing." We dive into why sharing—especially the messy, vulnerable stuff—is so crucial to building trust and intimacy in relationships. Leslie shares fascinating research about why people tend to choose honesty over secrecy (even when the truth is uncomfortable), why cultural norms often pressure us not to reveal our true selves, and how her own experiences with marriage and divorce shaped her understanding of emotional honesty. We also talk about gendered expectations around sharing, how "mind reading expectations" can hurt our partnerships, navigating oversharing in early dating, and how to keep practicing vulnerability even if it didn’t go well in the past. If you’ve ever wondered where the line is with oversharing—and how to create deeper connections without losing yourself—this conversation is for you.
#318 Deepening Adult Friendships with Barnet Bain
In today's expert episode, I'm joined by Barnet Bain—award-winning filmmaker, author, and teacher—who just released his new book, "How to Be a Friend in an Unfriendly World." We dive deep into the art of adult friendship, why so many of us struggle to build fulfilling connections, and the common self-awareness gaps that hold us back. Barnet shares compelling personal stories, including a pivotal moment with his daughter that shifted his entire perspective on friendship. We talk about the power of self-talk, the importance of handling rupture and repair, why honoring others doesn’t mean abandoning yourself, and the difference between boundaries and walls. This conversation goes far beyond the basic tips on being a good friend—it’s all about how to grow, expand, and build deeper, more meaningful relationships that actually feel safe and supportive.
#317 Stop Waiting for Someone to Change Their Mind About Commitment
In today’s solo episode, I’m diving into the all-too-common “trap” so many of us fall into: not believing someone the first time they tell us they aren’t ready for a relationship or don’t see themselves wanting the same future as us. I share my own experiences of ignoring red flags, holding on to hope that someone might change, and how that leads us to lose parts of ourselves over time. We talk about why it’s so tempting to stay in these situations, the resentment that can quietly build, and the importance of honoring your own life goals—even when it’s uncomfortable or scary to walk away. I also address tough moments, like finding out an ex who “wasn’t ready” moves on to a relationship with someone else, and remind you why you deserve a relationship that matches your long-term dreams.
#316 From Fight or Flight to Healing with Liz Tenuto
In today’s expert episode, I’m joined by Liz Tenuto, also known as the Workout Witch, a leading expert in somatic exercises with over 230,000 students and millions of followers and out with a new book When The Body Speaks. We dive deep into what actually happens in our bodies during periods of long-term stress, trauma, and heartbreak—including the science behind fight, flight, and freeze responses. Liz shares her own journey coping with chronic pain and insomnia, how she found healing through somatics, and why talk therapy sometimes isn’t enough for full recovery. We talk about why it’s so normal to feel stuck after a breakup, why our physical health can take a hit, and practical ways to actually release stress from the body. Liz also shares insights from her new book, When the Body Speaks, including accessible somatic exercises—there’s even a whole grief and heartbreak sequence for listeners to try. If you’ve felt overwhelmed, stuck, or like your healing is taking longer than it “should,” this conversation is for you.
#315 How to Truly Support Someone Through Grief with Shelby Forsythia
In today’s expert episode I’m joined by grief coach, author, and podcaster Shelby Forsythia, who is returning to talk about her new book, Of Course I’m Here Right Now. Shelby breaks down her powerful framework for how to truly support someone who is grieving—not just what NOT to say, but exactly what you can say and do, whether their grief comes from a breakup, divorce, job loss, or the death of a loved one. We dive into the stories that keep grievers feeling isolated, why most people actually want to help but freeze up, and how simple, validating words can nurture relationships instead of fracturing them during hard times. This episode is packed with practical scripts, real-life examples, and a reminder that grief is something we all experience. Whether you’re learning how to receive support or show up for a friend, this is a must-listen to add to your emotional toolbox.
When you order her book be sure to sign up for the Book Club here!
#314 Building Your Emotional Toolkit with Mal Glowenke
In today's episode, I'm interviewing Mal Glowenke, host of the Made It Out podcast, who's been a pioneer in the lesbian podcast scene. We dive into her recent breakup—not only with her romantic partner but also her podcast co-host—and how that experience has shaped her healing journey. We talk about the unique challenges of navigating a breakup while untangling both a business and a mutual friend group, especially within the close-knit world of queer women. Mal shares the tools and practices that have helped her heal, the importance of building "muscle memory" around self-care and coping, and why she believes every breakup is an opportunity to get closer to who you truly are. We discuss the concept of "expanders," finding gratitude in the mess, and allowing yourself to borrow hope when your own feels low. There’s so much wisdom in this conversation, whether you’re moving through a breakup, navigating big life changes, or just looking to build your inner toolkit.
#313 Infinite Paths to Healing: Japanese Spirituality and Heartbreak with Hiroko Yoda
In today's expert episode, I'm interviewing Hiroko Yoda, a Japanese cultural historian, journalist, and author of the new book "8 Million Ways to Happiness: Wisdom for Inspiration and Healing from the Heart of Japan." We dive into how anyone can use the principles of Japanese spirituality to help heal from grief and heartbreak, regardless of their background. Hiroko shares her own journey of reconnecting with Japanese spiritual traditions after her mother's passing, and we explore ideas like the fluidity of emotions, the absence of hierarchy in feelings, and making healing less goal-oriented. We also talk about the deep wisdom nature can offer us, letting go of shame and guilt around grief, and why it's okay to stay in the gray areas of healing. This conversation was so beautiful and full of powerful insights for everyone, no matter where they're at in their healing journey.
#312 Breaking Free From Narcissism with Dr. Alina Kastner
In today’s expert episode, I’m joined by Dr. Alina Kastner, a Vienna-based psychotherapist and author of Break Up with Narcissism: How to Break Free and Stay Free. We dive into what really happens after a breakup with a narcissist—beyond just identifying the red flags. Dr. Alina shares her perspective on the often-missing conversation about the true healing journey: rebuilding self-esteem, facing the isolation that comes from a toxic relationship, letting go of shame, and how to reconnect with old friends after being cut off. We talk about the complex aftermath, from understanding the emotional void to dealing with trauma triggers long after the relationship ends. Dr. Alina also shares practical advice and introduces her Toxic Breakup Journal, a daily tool for navigating those challenging first weeks of recovery. If you’re struggling with the “what now?” after leaving a narcissist, this episode is full of hope, validation, and actionable tips for reclaiming your life.
#311 Discovering DIY Spirituality with Faith Freed
In today’s expert episode, I’m interviewing Faith Freed, a licensed psychotherapist, spiritual guide, and author of the new book DIY Spirituality: Chart Your Own Sacred Path. We dive into the intersection of spirituality and relationships—especially after heartbreak—and discuss how connecting with your own sense of spirituality can be a key part of healing. We get into what spirituality really means (it’s probably more accessible and personal than you think!), why it’s so important to develop a strong relationship with yourself and something greater than you, and how doing so can actually prevent unhealthy relationship patterns like putting your partner on a pedestal. Faith breaks down her “divine disco ball” framework for spiritual self-care, shares practical, approachable ways to connect with your spirit, and reassures us that there’s no one right way to get spiritual. Whether you’re religious, spiritual-but-not-religious, or just curious about how spirituality can support your healing, this is a great place to start.
#310 The Secrets to Cultivating a Village That Shows Up When Life Gets Tough
In today’s solo episode I’m diving into the concept of “being a villager” and the importance of building your community—especially during tough times like a breakup. I share how the lessons and tools I learned over a decade ago from healing my own heartbreak still support me in my life today, including during a recent personal crisis with my family. I talk about the misconceptions many of us have when it comes to asking for and offering help, why it’s so essential to stay current and invested in our friendships, and practical ways to become a better support system for others. We’ll explore how to nurture your village, be honest about your needs, and what it truly looks like to show up for each other, so you don’t have to go through hard things alone.
#309 When Stress at Work Impacts Love at Home with Guy Winch
In today's expert episode, I'm joined by one of my all-time favorite guests (and yours!), Guy Winch, psychologist, TED speaker, and author of the brand new book Mind Over Grind. We dive deep into the topic of how workplace stress and burnout can erode our relationships, sometimes leading to breakups and heartache. We talk about the unconscious ways that work stress spills over into our home lives, why productivity can become a numbing tool after heartbreak, and how rumination keeps us stuck during tough transitions. Guy Winch shares research-backed insights on why burnout can make us feel numb—even toward the people we love most—and gives practical tips for both partners: whether you're the one obsessing about work, or on the receiving end feeling like you've come second to your partner's job. We also discuss key conversations to have early on when dating again, especially if you've got a history of choosing partners who are married to their work. If you've ever wondered how to set healthy work boundaries, or want to understand the hidden ways stress can impact your love life, this episode is packed with validation, practical advice, and hope.
#308 Understanding Limerence and Longing with Amanda McCracken
In today's expert episode, I'm joined by journalist and author Amanda McCracken to dive deep into the topics of longing and limerence—those intense, ruminating crushes or obsessions that can stick with us for years, even decades. Amanda shares her very personal journey with limerence, what it was like to struggle with it long before the term became widely known, and how it intersected with her romantic life and late-in-life virginity. We talk about the addictive pull of longing, why emotionally unavailable people can feel so magnetic, and how societal influences like rom-coms and social media can amp up these feelings. Amanda also shares practical advice and her road to recovery, including how she eventually shifted out of these patterns to find real intimacy with her now-husband. If you're going through a breakup, struggling to let go, or finding yourself stuck in obsessive thoughts about an ex, this conversation will hit home and give you hope that healing—and even real love—are possible.