Heal Your Heartbreak Podcast
Every Tuesday I have a new episode of the Heal Your Heartbreak Podcast where I talk about a different topic as it relates to break ups, healing your heartbreak, growing in your single life, and moving into happier and healthier relationships.
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Heal Your Heartbreak Episodes
#299 How Keeping Secrets Sabotages Your Breakup Recovery
In today’s solo episode, I’m diving into the topic of secrets and their role in breakups. I explore why we tend to keep certain things hidden after a breakup—whether it's to save face, avoid embarrassment, or keep the door open for a possible reconciliation—and why this is ultimately harmful to our healing. I share some personal experiences from my recovery journey, talk about how secrecy breeds shame and isolation, and offer practical advice on how to start opening up to trusted people in your life. Whether you’re struggling to admit what you put up with or afraid to say out loud what really happened, this episode is all about encouraging you to let go of those secrets so you can truly heal your heartbreak.
#298 The Five Habits of Hope with Dr. Julia Garcia
In today’s expert episode, I’m joined by Dr. Julia Garcia, psychologist and author of the new book The Five Habits of Hope. We talk about how hope can be a real tool for growth and healing, rather than just a personality trait or toxic positivity. Dr. Julia shares her own personal struggles—from early heartbreak to grappling with addiction and self-worth—and how she discovered resilience through hope. We dive into the five habits of hope she outlines in her book, practical exercises you can try right away, and how to process difficult emotions without getting stuck. We also discuss why hope isn’t about attaching your worth to someone else or an external outcome, and how to lean on others and even “borrow hope” when you need it most. If you’re feeling hopeless during heartbreak, this episode will give you strategies and validation, and maybe even a path forward.
#297 How Romcoms Gave Us Unrealistic Breakup Expectations
In today’s solo episode, I’m diving deep into a topic that’s come up a lot in the background of other episodes, but today I’m bringing it all together—what romcoms got wrong about breakups and relationships. I talk through five major themes that 90s and early 2000s romantic comedies sold us—like the myth of the “one that got away,” why fighting isn’t proof of love, the trope of getting back with toxic exes, finding your soulmate right after a breakup, and the classic “revenge glow-up.” I share examples from some of my all-time favorite movies, break down why these storylines gave us such unrealistic expectations, and offer my thoughts on how these narratives impact our healing after a breakup. If you grew up watching these films and ever compared your breakup story to a romcom, this episode is for you!
#296 Navigating In-Law Dynamics and Boundaries with Dr. Tracy Dalgleish
In today’s episode, I’m interviewing Dr. Tracy Dalgleish about her brand new book You, Your Husband, and His Mother. We dive into the impact of outside influences—especially in-laws—on relationships, and why these dynamics can so often lead to breakdowns. Dr. Tracy shares insights from her work as a couples therapist, including her five-step Vault Method for protecting your partnership and setting effective boundaries. We discuss the misconceptions around boundaries, the importance of getting on the same team with your partner, and specific strategies for dating with these issues in mind. This episode is a must-listen for anyone who’s struggled with in-law relationships in the past, or who wants to lay a stronger foundation in future partnerships.
#295 How Detachment Can Transform Your Breakup Recovery with Sabrina Bendory
In today’s expert episode, I’m joined by relationship and confidence coach Sabrina Bendory, host of the "You Will Be Okay" podcast and author of the new book Detached. We dive deep into the meaning of detachment—what it actually is, common misconceptions about it (hint: it’s not emotional shutdown!), and why learning to detach from outcomes is a crucial life skill, especially after heartbreak. Sabrina Bendory shares practical tips, writing exercises, and personal stories, including how to detach from an ex and ways to approach dating with a healthy, detached mindset. We also talk about how to be kind to yourself during the grief of a breakup, how to identify what needs you’re trying to fill post-breakup, and how detachment can help you build real self-worth. If you struggle with moving on or want to heal and grow after a breakup, you’ll get so much from this episode.
#294 Navigating Anxious and Avoidant Attachments with Julie Mennano
In today's expert episode, I'm interviewing Julie Mennano, who you might know from her Secure Love podcast or her super insightful Instagram account @thesecurerelationship. Julie is an attachment expert and the author of Secure Love, and in this episode we tackle all things attachment theory—especially how it relates to breakups and healing. We dive deep into the anxious-avoidant dynamic, the misconceptions so many of us have around avoidant partners, and why those relationships aren't necessarily doomed. Julie shares her unique perspective on taking accountability after heartbreak without falling into self-blame, how to build self-trust for future relationships, and explains how negative cycles erode intimacy. We also talk about why labeling attachment styles can be helpful—but sometimes overdone. If you've ever wondered how to make sense of your breakup through the lens of attachment or want to set yourself up for a healthier relationship next time, this episode is a must-listen.
#293 How to Feel Safe in Relationships with Jessica Baum
In today’s episode, I’m welcoming back Jessica Baum, licensed mental health counselor, relationship expert, and author of the new book Safe (out today!). We dive into what it truly means to feel safe in relationships, why so many of us struggle with this, and how our attachment styles play a huge role—whether we lean anxious, avoidant, or somewhere in between. Jessica breaks down the origins of our attachment styles and offers insight into how we can gradually heal, especially after heartbreak. We discuss the power of finding anchors—safe, supportive people outside of romantic relationships—and how real healing happens in connection, not isolation. This is an episode packed with hope, practical tips, and so much validation for anyone rebuilding after a breakup or looking to feel safe and secure in future relationships. To get the free gifts we talk about in the interview head to this link: https://jessicabaumlmhc.com/safe
#292 Exploring Sexual Confidence and Healing After Heartbreak with Dr. Tara
In today’s expert episode, I’m so excited to welcome back Dr. Tara, a tenured professor of relational and sexual communication, TV sexpert, and now author of the brand new book “How Do You Like It?” We dive deep into the shifting narratives around sex and relationships, especially for Gen Z, and talk about how younger generations are redefining what it means to be sexually empowered and communicative. We cover everything from the myths the media has created about “sexless” generations, to the real impact of porn on relationships (hint: it’s all about porn literacy, not porn itself), and how secrecy—not the act itself—is what really feels like betrayal in a partnership. Dr. Tara also touches on why passion and sexual communication are at the heart of lasting relationships, and shares so many tangible tips for getting to know yourself sexually—whether you’re single, going through a breakup, or in a long-term commitment. If you’re curious about healing your relationship with sex, learning how to voice your own desires, and breaking old patterns of shame and people-pleasing, this episode is for you!
#291 Is Your Breakup Story Helping or Hurting Your Recovery?
In today's solo episode I’m diving into the topic of your breakup story—what it means, why it matters, and how the way you tell it can shape your healing. I explore how sharing your breakup experience is an important part of processing, but also how we can unintentionally make our stories more painful by filling in the gaps with negative self-talk or assumptions. Whether you were cheated on, ghosted, or ended the relationship yourself, I break down practical ways to tell your story with honesty and compassion, and give tips on how to keep your narrative from holding you back. I also discuss the importance of writing out your breakup story, sticking to the facts, and allowing yourself space for your feelings without making the breakup mean something negative about you.
#290 From Self-Sabotage to Self-Regulation: Anna Runkle’s Guide to Relationship Healing
In today’s expert episode, I’m interviewing Anna Runkle, better known as the “Crappy Childhood Fairy” on YouTube, whose new book, Connectability, just launched. We talk all about what it really means to be dysregulated, how childhood trauma—not just the “big T” trauma—can play out in our adult relationships, and why so many of us find ourselves self-sabotaging or struggling to connect. Anna dives into why neglect, not being seen or cared for as a child, can have lasting neurological effects, and she shares practical steps to start re-regulating your nervous system and breaking out of old relational patterns. We also dig into why we might be drawn to emotionally unavailable people, the hidden ways we isolate ourselves, and why building multiple kinds of connection—not just romantic—is so important for healing after heartbreak. Anna offers relatable stories, super tangible advice, and hope for anyone navigating relationship wounds or looking to build a more connected, supported life.
#289 Surviving the Horrors of Dating with Rory Uphold: Mindset, Shame, and Self-Love
In today’s episode, I’m welcoming back one of my favorite guests, Rory Uphold, to talk all about her brand new book The Final Girl’s Guide to the Horrors of Dating, out tomorrow (October 1st)! Rory and I dive into what inspired her to write the book—combining her own wild relationship stories with her love for horror movies. We break down what it really means to be a “final girl” in both scary movies and in dating, how mixed messages and shame around sex impact women’s relationships, and why so many of us stay in situationships and fear being single. Rory bravely shares her personal experiences with shame, sexuality, and catching an STI, discussing what it took for her to finally reclaim her agency. We also talk through the difference between accountability and shame, what it looks like to rewrite our dating stories, and why pain can actually be the best motivator during heartbreak. This is such a validating, insightful, and hilarious conversation—I can’t wait for you all to listen, and don’t forget to grab a copy of Rory’s book at this link using our special code BREAKUP15
#288 Healing Through Letters: A Breakup Recovery Tool
In today’s solo episode, I’m diving into one of my all-time favorite tools for breakup healing—letter writing. I share why this practice has been so powerful for me, how I integrate it into my coaching sessions, and exactly why it helps with those obsessive post-breakup thoughts and the void left by no contact. I go over different types of letters you can write—to your ex, to yourself (including your younger self), to the universe, and more—and why putting pen to paper is so much more impactful than just thinking your thoughts or even journaling. I get honest about whether or not you should ever actually send these letters (the answer may surprise you!) and offer tips for making this practice your own. If you’re looking for a tangible way to process your emotions and lighten the load after heartbreak, this episode is for you.
#287 When Life Doesn’t Go as Planned with Laura Behnke
In today’s episode, I’m talking to Laura Behnke, whose story is such a powerful example of resilience, hope, and what it means to build a meaningful life regardless of the “rules” we think we need to follow. Laura shares openly about not having her first real relationship until age 35, what it felt like to reach milestones later than she expected, and how she learned to imagine a future that didn’t hinge on partnership. We dive into her experiences navigating major grief—including the losses of her father-in-law and her own father, a long, emotional journey with IVF and infertility, and eventually facing a cancer diagnosis when her daughter was just seven months old. We discuss the emotions that come up when life doesn’t go as planned, finding strength during difficult seasons, and why sharing our most vulnerable moments can be such a lifeline to others. Laura’s honesty about dating, grief, motherhood, and health is such a needed reminder that we’re not alone in life’s hardest chapters, and that it’s okay to question—and break—the “rules” we’re handed.
#286 Navigating the Final Stretch of Breakup Recovery
In today's solo episode, I'm diving into what I call the final 10% of breakup recovery—that last stretch where you feel mostly healed, but still find yourself thinking about your ex, feeling frustrated, or just not quite “over it” yet. I talk through why this stage can feel so uncomfortable, how it's completely normal to still have lingering curiosity or sadness, and why rushing through it doesn't actually help. I share my top tips for approaching this stage with curiosity rather than judgment, including continuing to journal, reflecting on your progress, and even considering dipping your toe back into dating—when the time is right for you. I also discuss how these lingering feelings can reveal deeper lessons and opportunities for growth. Whether you're nearing the end of your breakup journey or just want to know what to expect, this episode is all about normalizing the messy, imperfect end stages of healing and encouraging you to trust your own process.
#285 Out of the Ashes: Courtney Peppernell’s Journey Through Heartbreak and Emotional Abuse
In today’s episode, I’m joined by internationally bestselling poet and author Courtney Peppernell to talk about her deeply personal new book, Out of the Ashes. Courtney opens up about her seven-year relationship that ended in emotional abuse and infidelity, and what it was like to recognize the toxic dynamics only in hindsight. We explore how she navigated feelings of shame, guilt, and even imposter syndrome as someone whose career centers around writing about love and connection. Courtney shares how therapy, creative expression, and rebuilding trust in herself helped her heal—and why learning to embrace difficult emotions, especially anger, is essential to recovery. We also discuss the difference between healthy and emotionally abusive relationships, what it means to “rise from the ashes,” and how to reconnect with your intuition after heartbreak. This is a powerful conversation about reclaiming your voice, rebuilding self-worth, and knowing that your best days still lie ahead.
#284 Let the Truth Set You Free: Amber Rae’s Story of Leaving to Love
In today's episode, I'm joined by international best-selling author Amber Rae of the book Loveable, who shares her incredible story of breaking free from a nine-year sexless marriage after realizing she was living out a "good girl" narrative that kept her needs and desires suppressed. Amber and I dive into the difficult process of coming to terms with a relationship that looks good on paper but isn't fulfilling in reality, how meeting a soulmate became the catalyst for honesty and change, and the often-unspoken shame around discussing intimacy issues within relationships. We talk about rationalizing our way into staying, the courage it takes to leave, and the even deeper work of healing childhood wounds and learning to show up authentically in a new relationship. Amber also shares what it was like navigating others’ judgments, processing her family history, and building a partnership based on true connection and willingness. Whether you’re questioning your relationship or seeking permission to honor your own needs, this conversation is all about finding freedom and self-love on the other side of heartbreak.
#283 Listener Episode: Breaking Anxious-Avoidant Patterns with Chris
In today’s listener episode, I’m interviewing Chris, a man in his late 30s living in Arizona who is nearly two years out from a relationship that was marked by a classic anxious-avoidant dynamic. Chris opens up about navigating repeated breakup and reconciliation cycles with his ex, coming to terms with patterns of emotional unavailability, and the challenging process of finally walking away for good. We talk about what taking a full year to be single and focus on self-growth looked like for him, the deep patterns he noticed (both in his ex and himself), and how therapy and community support helped him rebuild his confidence after feeling completely lost. Chris also shares how dating again after a long break led him to a new, much healthier relationship, and what it’s been like to rewire old patterns and experience genuine emotional safety with a partner. This conversation is a refreshing look at heartbreak, healing, and growth from the male perspective, and I know so many listeners will relate to Chris’s story.
#282 The Power of Doing What You Don’t Feel Like After a Breakup
In today’s solo episode, I’m diving deep into one of my favorite—and most powerful—tools for breakup recovery: contrary action. I talk about how, in the midst of heartbreak, your thoughts and feelings can often steer you in the wrong direction, and why doing the opposite of what you feel like doing can be a true game changer. I share actionable ways to put contrary action into practice, how routines can support your healing, and why building self-trust and self-esteem really starts with showing up for yourself—especially when it feels hardest. I also discuss the tricky balance between listening to your feelings and pushing yourself just enough, providing tips for what to do when motivation is at its lowest. If you’re feeling stuck or unsure how to move forward, this episode is for you!
#281 Loneliness and the Power of Radical Listening with Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener
In today’s expert episode, I’m joined by Dr. Robert Biswas Diener, pioneer in positive psychology and co-author of the book “Radical Listening.” We dive into the power of radical listening—what it actually looks like, why it’s so hard to practice during breakups, and how improving your listening skills can radically change how you process heartbreak and receive support. Dr. Robert and I talk about why loneliness is so prevalent right now, how to coach your friends and family to be better listeners, and why so many people feel misunderstood during a split. We also dig into why it’s important to understand your motives when you’re listening—or when you’re sharing—and how to ask for the kind of support you need, whether that’s to be heard, hugged, or helped. Plus, we cover what to do when you have to listen to things you really don’t want to hear (like “I don’t want to be in this relationship anymore”) and how so much clarity actually comes from hindsight listening. This conversation is packed with practical advice for anyone navigating heartbreak, wanting to be a better support system, or looking to have healthier conversations—breakup or not.
#280 Learning to Love Better with Yung Pueblo
In today’s episode I’m joined by none other than Diego Perez—who many of you know as Yung Pueblo. This was such a pinch-me moment for me, getting to sit down with the author behind so many of my favorite books, and especially his newest release, “How To Love Better.” Diego opens up about his relationship with his wife and how their journey became the foundation for this new book. We talk about self-awareness, the idea of impermanence in relationships (and why we resist change so much), and how working on ourselves transforms the quality of our connections. Diego also shares his thoughts on how to accept breakups, when it might be time to let go, and why letting an incompatible relationship drag on can be an injustice to everyone involved. Whether you’re healing from heartbreak, looking to grow in your single life, or reflecting on what you want in your next relationship, there’s so much wisdom packed into this conversation.